Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Potty Humor

My daughter, The Empress, is graduating from diapers to underpants. Probably no reason to celebrate (save the cost of diapers and, now, pre-school potty trained discount) except that this is another milestone in her growth, one that carries with it it's own consequences.


A few examples:

- "An Inconvenient Poop" - the need to go potty will usually occur while at the furthest point from a rest room in the department store.

- The "Would You Like Paper or Plastic" Poop - usually occurs just as the cashier begins checking out your weekly food order.

- The "False Alarm" usually occurs while driving and one must stop at the nearest reasonably clean rest room before child deposits hiney fruit in her child seat. Upon arriving at the rest room, child announces "No pee-pee - no poo-poo".

- The "Magic Seat Cover" Poop - parent places paper toilet seat cover on toilet seat, turns to lift child onto seat, and the automatic flush activates, flushing paper seat cover.

- The "Sanctified Poop" - occurs just as the preacher says "Let us pray."

- The "Would You Like Some Company?" Poop - probably a "False Alarm" poop, but child wants to keep parent nearby whilst parent ....... never mind.

- The "Tailgate Poop" - answer to several of the above scenarios ....... parent buys a potty at IKEA for 4 bucks and has it handy in his tool box in the bed of his Ford F-150 truck. Parent must supply own wipes, plastic bag and gallon bottle of rinse water.

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5 comments:

Gina said...

Ok, the Sanctified poop made me laugh out loud in my office. Now people will think I am crazier.

Kim said...

LMAO! I think we have experienced EVERY one of those scenarios with Sheridan. Congrats to the Empress on achieving another major milestone.

Catherine said...

LOL! I'll keep these in mind for later. I have a couple of suggestions for the 'Magic Seat Cover' poop. Tiny post-it notes can be carried in a pocket or purse and placed over Mr. Automatic Flusher and it won't flush. When post it notes are not available just spit on a piece of tp and stick it to Mr. Flusher! OK - I know you well enough Daddy-o to realize that you're so going to try this second one out! :o)

Paula said...

Too funny! I can totally relate of all of the above. We're going through potty training with Hannah too. We're at the stage where she is fine indoors and out if she's naked. But that tends to be a problem when you go out in public, so we're trying to teach her how to pull the panties up and down.

Alyson and Ford said...

We have used the tailgate sans IKEA potty.... there is a certain overhang technique..... (and we do carry baby wipes and antiseptic wipes).
Too funny!

Alyzabeth's Mommy