The Skinny on the New Pants

I went to return a pair of pants. The gal at the store's Customer Service asked "Is there something wrong with them?" All 250 pounds of me answered back with a poker face: "They make me look fat." She had a bit of trouble, but she contained her laughter, finishing up the transaction with total poise and dignity. Would have loved to hear the break room conversation ....

Attention WalMart Shoppers

Is it still a tree house if it’s not technically in a tree? I think I’ll allow it.
Georgia

If you asked a 7 year old to dress himself, he would probably come out looking something like this…probably better actually.
Kentucky

Somebody come here and pick up my jaw, I can’t seem to find it now that my eyes popped out of my head.
Pennsylvania

I always assumed the lemon would carry the man-purse, but thanks to this picture we can now put that argument to rest. You know, with the ketchup they kinda have a nice stoplight thing going on there too.
New York

I don’t think your hamburger is the only thing you need help with.

Canada

We get it. You were in a Paula Abdul video 20 years ago, awesome! Now please change.
Nevada

How did this guy find my Osh Kosh B’gosh overalls from when I was 4?
Tennessee




I have this picture up so that you can stare at it for 5 minutes to decide if she is hot, then try to convince yourself that you don’t actually think she’s hot when you know she really is.
Oklahoma




Save the money, I highly doubt that its going to help you anyway.
Florida




Hey maybe you guys could help me down, it’s a 3 foot drop and my legs aren’t what they used to be.
Nevada



I challenge you to find pants to match fuzzy pink flip flops and green nail polish, then have someone take your picture and send it to us.
California



Now all we need is Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem for a reunion tour.
Texas





I’m not quite sure if Godzilla belongs on the dinosaur van, but since this guy included him, I’m glad he is at the very top where he belongs…..Godzilla would beat down every other dinosaur. That’s a fact. Look it up.
West Virginia



You know that “Bubba” guy that I mentioned…
Unknown



Britney Spears let herself go…….again.
Kentucky




Are those ankle weights, half-socks or sweatbands? Does she think that if things are kind of the same color they can go together? Are see-through shorts only appropriate with shiny blue hats? I wish I knew how these things worked.
Florida




Is it even legal to look this good?
California

Justin Roberts "Stay-at-Home Dad"